Crisis of Faith?

I went to college with a young man whose mother was raped and brutally murdered a few years ago. The man who murdered her is on trial now facing the death penalty and her family members had to testify in court. Since this is a legal case, I am sure they have been exposed to the gory details of the crime (based on news reports alone she suffered a great deal, in court all of the details come to light which must be horrible to hear as a loved one). I was reading his blog today and am just amazed at how admirably he has dealt with the situation. He hasn't allowed hatred for the perpetrator of the crime to consume him, nor has he allowed such a horrific tragedy to bring about a crisis of faith for him.

I think it is very difficult to come to terms with the various tragedies we may/ do face in this world. How can we wrap our heads around really, really bad things happening to really, really good people? How is that fair? Why does a loving, just, and merciful God allow such a thing? I guess it comes down to God isn't really "allowing" it to happen, is he? We as human beings have one distinct thing that differentiates us from the animal kingdom, that is free will. With that comes a great responsibility to act in the way God has taught us, through his manifestations, will elevate our souls and bring prosperity to mankind as whole. Unfortunately, there individuals who choose not to do so. In so choosing, sometimes, tragedy befalls those of us who have chosen to try to "live the life" and develop the good in us rather than fall victim to the lower nature we are all possessed with.

I admire this young man, because, even though I know bad things happen and it shouldn't dictate our faith in God and shouldn't change our goal in life to be good, and kind, and loving, even to our enemies, I am not so sure I would handle things as gracefully as he has (outwardly anyway). I pray that I never have to learn how I would handle myself in such a situation. I also pray for fortitude and courage for those who do. I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like to face the perpetrator of such a horrendous crime or live with the knowledge of so dreadful an act committed against the person you love most in the world.

Life Update

It's been about a month since I last wrote anything here, so I guess its time I update everyone on my life the past month. Things have been going pretty well. Nothing spectacular has happened to me, but life is good nonetheless. P and I returned almost a week ago now from a wonderful week in Florida where we went on vacation, just the two of us, for the first time in a long time. We really had a fabulous time. The weather was delightful, truly perfect, in the mid 80's, sunny everyday, not too hot, but just right. We stayed at a very nice hotel and had an awesome 1 bedroom villa, went to the pool, jacuzzi, amusement parks, shopping, and ate out at some restaurants we don't have here. It was just what I needed. Upon our return, the weather was quite nice here. Spring has definitely arrived. I love seeing green everywhere. Things haven't fully bloomed yet, but they are getting there. My mood has been so much better recently and its probably due to a combination of factors, but truth be told, I honestly believe that 95% of the reason is the change in weather. I always knew I am affected by the weather, but never to such a great extent. It's amazing how that one thing can have such a tremendous impact on one's sense of well being.

I am looking forward to this summer and either having my parents come for a visit or my visiting them. Also, the Baha'i summer school is going to be really awesome this year, even better than last year, so I am excited about that. Work is getting busier which is a good thing. I hope it doesn't become too busy, but we'll see how it goes. Sorry for the long absence, I will try and write more frequently. Hope all of you who read this are doing well too!!! To my dear friend Tali, best of luck with your final exam tomorrow, its almost over!!!! So proud of you!!!

Family Ties

I am sitting here, on my couch, on an early Sunday afternoon watching the show "Family Ties" from the 80's starring Michael J. Fox. As I sit here, I am thinking about family and how great a gift from God Family can be. Can you imagine if we all were just individuals in this world with no actual ties to anyone? I mean maybe we'd have friends - and though a really good friend can be like family- in my personal opinion, there is nothing like family. It is the most basic part of human life, but also the best. I mean, ultimately, isn't it what most of us strive for? Most people long for, or strive for, meeting someone, falling inlove, sharing their life with that person and starting a family..and the cycle continues...

I got married 5 years ago(in June), so step one and two have happened, I fell inlove and got married-chose to share my life with someone. Now I am reaching that next level in life - starting a family of my own. For some it may not be as important as for others. For me, I think it will be everything. You see I live so far away from my loved ones, my parents, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles. etc...This fact is something that is extremely hard on me at times. However, I believe that when I have a child of my own and a little family unit of my own, though i will still miss my loved ones, I will have a different focus. I think it won't hurt as much to be far away - does this make sense? Besides giving me a different focus, it also just feels like the natural next step. Please don't jump to any conclusions - I am not actually trying for a baby yet - but I am thinking about it..I look forward to the day I have a little person I can call my own. Someone to help raise and nurture, who will look at me with big loving eyes and whose whole world I will be, even if only for a small moment in time. That will be a wonderful day indeed!!!

Near Misses...

My little sister has had quite a few "near misses" lately in terms of potentially fatal accidents. She blogged about the latest one yesterday see ("too close" at http://nasaka.blogspot.com/). It was a bit scary to read for me as her sister - but she's right one never knows...It got me thinking, how many "near misses" have all of us had? How many of those were a consequence of sheer coincidence like if you had stepped out 5 seconds later you would have been hurt, etc vs, how many were truly God's protection? Does it even work that way? Does God ever intervene? I believe He does. I just don't know how many things are luck vs intervention, or if there is such thing as luck and circumstance... I bet we would all freak out a little bit if we knew just how many times we did actually come close to death without even knowing it... I think this life is a much bigger mystery than any of us will ever truly understand.

Happy Naw Rúz!!!

Today marks the last day of the Bahá'í Fast which Bahá'ís from around the world have been observing for the past 19 days. The end of the fast marks the beginning of a new year, Náw Ruz. It is time for celebration and hopefully the start of many good things to come in the year ahead. Personally, this year's fast felt more difficult than year's past - not sure why - but it just was. However, I very much enjoyed the time I had pre-dawn with my husband where we sat and had breakfast together and then shared prayers and bahai writings. It was a very special feeling. I am hopeful of what the year to come holds for us. For starters, we are taking a short vacation together - next month which I know we will both love. It will almost be like a honeymoon. It is our 5 year wedding anniversary in a few months - so the timing works well indeed.

I am looking forward to the spring and summer - visiting family, and taking on new endeavours at work and in life. I just wanted to take this time to wish everyone a very Happy Naw Rúz!!!! Happy New Year!!!

Career Choices

I have some changes that will be taking place with my role at work soon and I am sort of allowed to choose some of them, but sort of not. I don't really know what to do. On the one hand, I am totally ready for a change and more responsibility, on the other, I do NOT want to be working ALL the time again...I just don't see the point. Life is too short to waste behind a computer crunching numbers when the benefit of such work doesn't do much to help my fellow man...at least much that I can see...I am all for doing a good job, but I am scared that expectations are quite high too. Oh well, I have always managed in the past, so I am sure once I get over my initial fear, things will work out. I definitely want to do a good job...We'll see what happens, nothing has been hashed out yet.

I am also feeling a bit scared with the economy and the lack of stability that exists right now. It feels as though, at any second, any one of our lives could come crumbling down, as we know it that is. It's a very strange feeling, not knowing what the future holds. Growing up the way I did, you always think if you are well educated, work hard, you will be ok - but the fact of the matter is, there is a good deal of luck involved too. There are plenty of people right now who have a great education, are very qualified, but were laid off and are now fighting with thousands of other people for few jobs...I guess we just need to take life one day at a time and learn to roll with the punches, so to speak. I think part of my concern stems from my whole atlanta apartment situation and not knowing the full financial repercussions that may have, if any...But hopefully that situation will be resolved in the next few months...we will have to wait and see... I really would give anything to not have so many responsibilities on my shoulders right now and just be 18 again depending on my parents..hehe..life was good then!!! Or I wouldn't mind winning the lottery, that might be good too!! Haha, I really can't complain, God has been very good to me...I am one of the lucky ones.

Pathetic

This is the most ridiculous,pathetic, stupid, frustrating thing I have seen in a while: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090227/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_ryanair_toilet

I mean why on EARTH would anyone consider such a thing!!! It's strong-arming people!! Highway Robbery!!! What is a person supposed to do? If they have to go, they have to!!! How can you charge them, and so much!!! 1pound isn't cheap!!! So ridiculous!!! I would seriously prefer if you charged me an extra 5 pounds in my ticket price, than make me pay each time I use the restroom which on a ryan airflight would be once if at all since they tend to be short... I really hate the airline company policies that exist today!!! They charge you for everything. In the past it would be a really exaggerating joke to say "next thing you know they will be charging you to use the restroom" but now it might actually be a reality!!! Truly pathetic!!! I am really irritated by this!!!