The week ahead...

It's the start of a brand new week and I must say things are looking up. It is sunny outside and I know that in 48 hours I will be boarding a plane heading home to visit my parents. I really can't wait. It's been 6 months since I have been home(the home I grew up in) and I miss my parents and miss my home a lot. I get this cozy feeling every time I go back and step into the house. It is a great source of comfort for me. So, as you can imagine, it brings me much joy to think about the fact that in only a few days, I will be back, enveloped in the warmth of home and what that represents to me.

The especially nice thing about this visit is that when i leave, I will see my parents a month and a half later. They are coming to visit me, which i am also very much looking forward to. It will be nice to show them where I live now and what my life is like over here.

Several days ago, I blogged about a frustrating situation in my life. It still hasn't been resolved, but it might work out, we'll see. I have sort of resigned myself to just deal with whatever happens. At some point, if things don't work out, the money will just run out, and if that happens, well it would be a real bummer, i won't deny that, but its just money. Easy come, easy go...I won't let myself get too worked up over it since its a part of life. But I am still hoping for a somewhat positive resolution. We'll see...

The only thing I am not looking forward to about my trip is leaving my dog behind. He is my baby! I love him so much and he makes me laugh constantly. So I will miss all of the funny things he does. Last night he burped. It was the funniest thing ever. In all my life, I have NEVER heard a dog burp!!! It was hilarious!!! Anyway, he will be in very good hands, so that is something that brings me comfort at least. We have some friends who take care of him when we travel and they are just fantastic. They treat him so well. It's good to know he is being taken care of with lots of love and patience. I am so grateful to them.

I am really tired right now, didn't get a lot of sleep, so I am struggling to keep my eyes open, but I'll be ok. That's all for now folks, not much else to update you on. Have a great week!

What Gives????

I woke up this morning and checked cnn.com as is part of my morning ritual and what do i see, another shooting at a university in the US. So far, 6 students dead + the gunman, not to mention 22 total shot, some in critical condition, so death tally will probably rise further. I mean, seriously people, what the hell is it going to take for the US to realize that there are MAJOR gun control issues in that country????? For heaven's sake, it does NOT take a rocket scientist to put 2 and 2 together and realize that the number of shootings in the US is related to the horrible gun control laws. BAN them I say!!! BAN them!!!

Oh some guy feels more comfortable with his gun, well too bad!!! If they aren't allowed for anyone, but law enforcement, then you won't need one to protect yourself. Sure the really bad guys will probably still find ways to get them, but you can't stop everyone, but then you CAN keep your average joe who snaps for a minute and causes A LOT of damage in that minute, from having access. And you reduce the number in circulation. I mean seriously, look at other countries where it is very difficult to have a gun, they DONT have these issues that the United States faces, almost every week now. Have we learned NOTHING from these shooting rampages?????

I mean this really makes me angry, very angry. First of all because it shows that there are so many sick people in the world. Second, that people are NOT learning their damn lessons. Third, that so many innocent people are suffering and there is no need for that to happen. There is a cure, one is the practical one of getting rid of the guns, two is the spiritual answer which is really what is needed above and beyond anything. The ills that are plaguing society today, they can be healed, through spirituality, then no matter how many guns were out there in the world, it WOULDN'T matter, because people would be different. I mean we are spiritual beings, put on this earth to serve our Lord, and they way to do that is serve one another, through kindness, and implementation of the spiritual qualities and gems each one of us have been endowed with. We have been created in the image of God. That is what many people believe, so why don't we display that image as we should???? We all need to turn inwards and start leading our lives as we should, and little by little, the world will change and these idiotic episodes won't happen!!! And the government needs to step in and actually govern justly and be for the people, rather than for themselves.... What is it going to take???????????

XOXO

It's that time of year again. It is February 14th, also known as Valentine's Day. I hope everyone reading this gets to spend today with some friends, loved ones, etc.. I will be spending the day with my hubby. Nothing special planned this year, which is ok. We'll probably have dinner at home and just be together. We are going on a trip next week so we can do something special then.

I know that today is actually just a very commercial day that marketing people came up with to have an excuse to force people to go out and spend more money. To be honest, I don't care. I totally buy into it!!! I mean its nice to have these "special" days once in a while. So, marketing invention or not, who cares, its always great to have someone who cares for you let you know, with a card, flowers, chocolate, phone call, whatever... something is always nice...

So this post is to say to all of my friends out there who actually read this once in a while, HAPPY VALENTINE's DAY!!! I am thinking of you and sending you much love!!! xoxo.

ITS OVER!!!!

That's right folks, the Writer's Strike is 100% OVER, for the next 3 years at least...I have been following news on the strike rather closely since I am ashamed to admit, I am a huge fan of television and movies and of course this strike was messing up my ability to watch my favorite shows, not to mention, the threat it posed to the Oscars which I am a big fan of. What's so insane is that this thing has cost the US economy and estimated 2BILLION dollars. Imagine what you could do with 2billion dollar!?! It's nuts, really since everyone in the world knows the studios couldn't possibly go on forever without the writers... It was a game of chicken to see who could last the longest...well at least they reached a compromise. But they only signed a deal for 3 years, so who knows, this junk may happen all over again!!!

Last night P and I were watching this week's episode of Prison Break(some shows have had new episodes every few weeks or so, they stretched it out) and I swear that for about 75% of the episode my heart was racing... Seriously, I know its just a tv show, its fake, but its amazing how it has the ability to draw a viewer in to the point that they have physical reactions to what they see...It is one of the shows that is able to do that, for me anyway. I tend to be an emotional person, I cry if something is happy or sad, etc.. so when there is major suspense my heart starts to pound and I get all nervous... Its quite funny, although I could do without the feeling...its too intense... So I am hoping I don't have to wait forever for the next few episodes, and I sincerly hope the year finishes out instead of going on hiatus until the fall. Although, they will probably leave me with some major cliffhanger which will also stink!!! I hate those, I always want to know what happens, like immediately!!!

Well I am happy this strike is over, people can go back to work, pump some money into the economy, and best of all, I get my shows back(probably not till april, but still)...Oh and I am going home next week and get to watch the Oscar's there with my family, can't wait!!!

Dancing Queen

Last night we went to party some friends held to celebrate their recent nuptials. I only knew a few people at the party and was sort of sitting around for a while, chit chatting with some friends who were there. There was music playing the whole time, and I had an itch to dance, but it wasn't really all that danceable music and noone was dancing, I mean zero persons. A friend of mine and I were talking and Madonna's "like a virgin" song came on, and i turned to her and I was like "I really wanna dance!" and then asked "do you wanna dance?" and she was like "yeah". So, the two of us proceeded to get up and dance. Now this was strange because EVERYONE was watching us, I mean really that is how it felt at least. It was pretty random, just two girls who most people don't know, dancing in the middle of the place (there was no actual dance floor). But then we made some requests of the dj, and after a few songs(which felt like a million years) of just us dancing, one more person joined, then another, and eventually a small group. Then after that, the music got better and even more joined....

The host thanked us for getting the dancing going. I had a wonderful time and shook my booty on the dance floor, hehe. Actually, I really did just let go of all of my inhibitions, and TRUST me, there are many, and just had a great time. I felt really proud of myself because that is something, that in the past at least, I would NEVER have done.... I feel like I have grown a lot in my self confidence in the past few years. Maybe its because I'm married and subconsciously I don't feel like I need to impress guys, or maybe I just trust myself more. I don't really know, but all I can say is I am SO glad I went for it, because what could have been a quite boring night, actually turned into really great fun!!!

major disappointment(see i can spell it grandpa)

Last night I was dealt a major blow in a situation that has been ongoing for a year and a half which was so close to finally being alleviated a bit. I am experiencing a lot of feelings right now, but mostly sheer frustration. I am beyond frustrated actually. I don't know what to do anymore. I really just don't know what to do. I just want to scream and break something right now...seriously, I can't believe my luck! on the other hand, i feel like i have no right to be upset because the thing afflicting is a financial situation, its material related i guess, and i should be happy i am alive and healthy especially with all of the recent stuff happening in the news and people dying in natural disasters, shootouts, etc...i really shouldnt be upset or complaining... I don't know if i am entitled to feel the way I do, nor how to not feel this way, or better yet, HOW TO FREAKING RESOLVE MY SITUATION!!!!!!!!!!!! ok sorry, i just HAD to let it out!!!!

Dreams

Last night I had a very vivid dream which made me wake up I was so upset. Every once in a while I have what I suppose you can describe as nightmares, but not necessarily nightmares, moreso things that are just upsetting. About a year and a half ago, my pet poodle, Tia, died. This was when I was living in Atlanta. It was a bit of a traumatic experience for me, the way it happened and I was all alone, it was middle of the night, anyway its not something I enjoy thinking about. Well jump ahead to present day and I have a pet shit zu, Bebo. I have had him for a year now and I really love him, as most people do their pets. Well last night, I had the strangest dream. I dreamt that Bebo was walking funny, but nothing really strange, but then later John Goodman(that's right from "Roseanne", probably thought of him since i saw an episode of roseanne yesterday), told me that a moth had gone up Bebo's leg(yeah not possible I know) and he was dying. And then i saw this like vet paramedic guy with Bebo and he looked awful, kind of like Tia did, and I just grabbed Bebo and was holding him pacing back and forth and sobbing and saying "Oh God, Oh God, not again, I can't handle this again, not again, please, please" and i uttered some prayer's and the name of God over and over and I mean it was really soooooooooo real, and I woke up. Oh and i remember seeing bebo's belly cut open, like they were going to try to operate to get the moth out.... that was the last thing i remember before waking up.... The thing is it felt SO real and I was SOOOOO upset.... I mean i know its probably me just projecting my feelings into a dream (bebo got a nasty cut last night and I was a bit worried) but still, i think its crazy how real dreams can be.

This also gets me thinking about the meaning of certain dreams. How do you know if something you dreamt has some sort of significance, or if its just your imagination projecting your thoughts? I am not really sure, though i definitely believe in the power of dreams. I also think dreams in general are very interesting. But I tell you, I wouldn't mind if I never had another scary dream again!!! I hate waking up frightened/upset!!!

Keeping the faith...

Today, I am thinking back on situations where things took a while to work out, but then somehow, you see the wisdom in the choices made, waiting, etc...I was having a conversation with a co-worker which has triggered this post. Basically, we were discussing situations, where in the short-term you have to wonder if you made the right decision, etc.. but in the long-term you realize that even if you did something for one reason, the way all the pieces fell into place, the way things worked, out, perhaps there was a bigger picture going on in the background and the "real" reasons behind why things worked out as they did.

I personally believe, that God has a plan for how things should work out. I really have no idea at what level He actually gets involved, like does He have anything to do with who one marries, or what job you get, etc. Sometimes you think, why would He get involved, He has bigger fish to fry. On the other hand, sometimes the way things work themselves out, you just can't believe there is any other possible explanation. I guess, is there such thing as coincidence? If there is, what about too much coincidence??? I am sure that if you ask 5 people how they interpret a particular situation, you will get 5 different responses. In my case, I am a person who believes in God and in Faith and that sometimes, no matter how miniscule/unimportant something may seem, it is possible for there to be Divine assistance/guidance...I have several things that have happened in my own life which i just refuse to believe were mere coincidence. Some things work out too perfectly and timely etc...I won't go into specific examples, but some of you have been involved and KNOW there had to be something more than coincidence going on...

Anyway, I think sometimes in life, some things just truly boil down to having faith. That said having Faith is something that can be easier said than done. For instance, if you are someone looking for love, and it hasn't happened for you, you wonder when??? You have to have Faith that it will eventually and that it will be worth the wait. That said, it doesn't mean you sit back and do nothing, I don't think God just hands things out on silver platters, we have to make an effort too, but I think He definitely looks out for people, especially when they ask Him for guidance. The key is recognizing His wisdom and the hints He gives....I have a particular situation i have been going through for about a year and a half now and I have struggled at times to see the wisdom behind why "things haven't worked out", but then I think and I wonder, maybe its just not visible yet, maybe "things are working out" exactly as they should and I can't grasp the reason/wisdom yet, but one day it will be perfectly clear. The tough part is having the patience to learn whatever lesson there is, or maybe its not a lesson, maybe things will work out better than i could have ever imagined and patience was the key (maybe a lesson after all).

I guess all of this reminds me of one of my favorite songs by Rascal Flatts. It is called "Bless the Broken Road" and the chorus says "God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you". In the case of this song, it is about love, and how you end up with the right person in the end. You got hurt along the way, and during those times you couldn't understand why, but in the end that road led you to the person you were meant to be with and thank God for that because then you really appreciate who you have.... I think life works in much the same way. The Baha'i writings says God tests the one's he loves. So we just need to have Faith that things, most things, happen for a reason and one day we will recognize what those are. Here's to trying to have faith, and not just saying we do, but actually having it!!!

I leave you with the lyrics of the song:

Rascal Flatts - Bless The Broken Road Lyrics

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find true love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you
Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Every long lost dream lead me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Sunday Morning

Today is the start of a new Sunday. I have started my day similar to other weekend days. Read from the Baha'i Writings, opened my laptop to see if anything happened while I was asleep, read my sister's blog, playing with dog in the meantime, etc... I am now going to search the web for some good recipes for french toast. We went to the grocery store last night, and among other things, bought a baguette. So now I want to try my hand at french toast, hope it turns out well, yum!!!

It is beautiful outside, we had a snowstorm last night, which was actually quite nice, because it hasn't felt like winter here. Normally this time of year there is snow and it is (-) degrees C, but pretty much all winter thus far it has been (+)degrees C and no snow... which some people love, but I like the occasional snow day, because it brightens everything up. Also, having grown up in the caribbean, you really long for snow sometimes...So I am just sitting by the window as I type this, enjoying the scenery, and smiling upon the day ahead...

Nothing extraordinary planned, doing laundry. Will probably read some Bahai Books and try to increase my knowledge a little, we'll see how that goes...Will take the dog out to play in the snow a bit...maybe clean the house... like i said nothing extraordinary...but should be nice nonetheless...

P and I found a good tapas bar last night. We were driving around town looking for a new place or just somewhere different to eat, and saw this place, so we decided to try it. I quite enjoyed it, not so much for the food, which was good, but more the ambience. It was a taste of latin. I mean the place itself is set up like a Spanish tavern, but the music was great. They played Luis Miguel, and then some merengue and some other spanish music which sort of took me back to home in my thoughts... I really am glad we found a new place we can go to... Anyway, it was a good saturday, and i am expecting it will be a good Sunday too!!!

I can't believe how different my life is these days. Seriously 2 years ago exactly at this time I would have most likely been working today, or at least it would be my only day off in the week. See this is "busy season" in the audit world which is what I use to do, with a really large company, so I was just a working machine...Actually, this time last year, even with my current company i was working like a freaking maniac because i was one of about 2 people assigned to a special project which really could have had 5 or 6 people working on it... It was insane, 8 am to 1am everynight, 8am to 10 or 11 pm on weekend,s sat and sun... i mean i just can't even believe i survived it... and now my life is so relaxed, it really is a different life... so while i miss the crazy busy sometimes, i also relish the relaxed not much going on other times...although, i have to say, having been use to being so busy, i feel a bit useless at times right now, but i figure i will just enjoy the break, and pick up some speed in my pace in other ways (bahai stuff mainly) once I am ready to do so!!!

Ok y'all - i am off to try my hand at french toast... Somehow all of my blog entries end up much longer than i normally expect... haha, oh well, hope you are still reading at this point!!! Happy Sunday!!!

The things we do for love...

Love is quite an amazing force when you really sit down and think about it. What's even more amazing is what lengths people are willing to go to for it and what things they do "in the name of love".

In my case, I married a guy who comes from a country very far from my own and I knew this when I intially got involved with him. I also knew that it was always his intention to stay in his country. At the time, I figured yeah why not, its a nice country sure, I'm cool with whatever...Then as time went on, and I had a great job and apartment, car, etc.. in the U.S, I figured well it will probably be a while before we move so I didn't ever give it a lot of thought, nor did I actively pursue finding jobs in his country. Then one day about 2 years ago an opportunity popped up, I looked into it, went on interviews, and bam got a job offer and decided to go for it. To be honest, when I look back now and think about the whole situation, I never for even a microsecond hesitated to give up everything I had to take the job. Why? Because i love my husband and more than anything I wanted us to be together and we had "agreed" we would move to his country at some point. At that point in time, I had just been promoted in my US job, I had my condo and car, both of which I loved, and more than anything I lived in the US. Here is a bit of background on me, when I was young my parents moved us to an island in the Caribbean to help develop the Baha'i Community there. I always felt a close tie to the US and considered myself American. And I always wanted to move back to the US at some point. I just really, really loved it (don't get me wrong, its not a perfect place, i know it is full of flaws, but everyone has a place that they love and for me that is the United States, right or wrong, doesn't matter). So when I think back to the decision made 2 years ago, and realize that I literally picked up, with no hesitation whatsoever, and left EVERYTHING behind ( i only took with me what fit in my suitcases, albeit there were 6 of them), left my family(spread out around US and caribbean, but still much closer via airplane then now) and friends, the life I knew and had built for myself, to go to a country half way around the world, with a culture completely different from my own and a number of other factors, I think, WOW, either I am completely out of my freaking mind (which maybe I am a little), or I REALLY love this guy. All of this said, this is just for the love of a man....

Now what about people who pick up and leave everything behind, literally everything, to go and Serve God. they do so without the guarantee of a job, home, safety, security, etc.., sometimes going to places totally undeveloped and very physically difficult to live in, But when you meet people like this, its like they have a shining lamp inside them, they are such special people, and again, they do it out of PURE love, nothing else, i mean why else would a sane person do such a thing. Or what about people who are martyred for their faith, they are given a simple option, recant or die, and they choose the latter. I mean its human instinct to survive, yet when given a simple option, they choose love over their life, love for God, love for their soul, etc...

SIDE NOTE: Please do not confuse this for those sorely mistaken individuals who go and blow themselves up in the name of religion, salvation, love of their faith, because in my opinion those people are acting in a way which completely goes against everything true religion(including their own) stands for... But that's neither here nor there...

So while my own "sacrifices" if you want to call them that, mainly related to material stuff, its quite amazing to me the things we as human beings do for love. Sometimes it can be comedic, at times mind-boggling, other times heroic, and yet other times sad and wrong, but at the end of the day, regardless of what our actions, one thing remains true, love is indeed one of the greatest if not THE greatest power in this world. It can move the world, just needs to be the right kind!!!

Here is a great quote from the Bahai writings that sums it up perfectly:
"In the world of humanity the greatest king and sovereign is love. If love were extinguished, the power of attraction dispelled, the affinity of human hearts destroyed, the phenomena of human life would disappear." - 'Abdu'l Baha