Irony

I am visiting my parents right now and came for a 3 week stay. I arrived about 10 days ago and something kind of crazy happened to me yesterday. I went to the hairsalon to have my hair done with the lady I see whenever I visit. I was all happy, as most women are when they leave the salon. It had been raining earlier but was no longer doing so. I was about 10 feet away from my car, walking towards it, as I slipped and fell, then the screaming began. I was the one screaming, I believe for help, though I can't be sure. What I am sure of is that I was in the most agonizing pain I have experienced in my life so far. I saw my left knee ball pop out, instinctively (cause i really wasn't thinking) i popped it back into place. At this point, people heard my screams and one gentleman (God Bless him) rushed over and lifted me up off the floor and let me use him to support myself. I was trying to calm down but I was in a lot of pain. As the pain subsided slightly since the knee wasn't dislocated anymore, I managed to ask him to walk me to my car where I said I would sit and call for help. Since i am visiting, I didn't want to use an ambulance because I know it can be very expensive without insurance and didn't want to deal with the hassle of it all...Anyway, I called home, my mom called a friend who happens to work in the emergency room, and she (her 3 young 8-12 year old, children, husband and my parents) came to get me and took me to the emergency room. Thank GOD for her. I was admitted immediately and we were in and out of there in a little over an hour. Normally one spends about 8 hours in the emergency room -it's a painful process, but this was the best that it could have been under the circumstances.

Anyway, now I can't do anything by myself. I use crutches to get around and my parents accompany me everywhere even to the restroom as I have nearly taken a few tumbles even with the crutches so they are around to catch me if i do fall...It's unfortunate this happened, but at least they are around and taking very good care of me. I am hoping this will heal enough for me to travel without pain when I am scheduled to return home in 10 days...we'll see..

The irony of this whole situation is that the last time I came home for a visit, my Uncle passed away 2 days after my arrival,so I ended up flying to Canada for his funeral and spent about a week total at home and clearly wasn't able to do much. Now this trip, a week into it, this happens and again I am unable to do much. I wonder if its a sign that I am just not meant to go to the beach and just relax...don't know.. Actually, truthfully,this situation could have been a thousand times worse and last year I am glad I was close enough to Canada to be with my family during such a difficult time and be able to attend the funeral, so I am not complaining about either situation, merely pointing out the irony of it all..

Anyway...this was my little Caribbean adventure...let's hope I go back with a knee that works..for now I am staying off of it and actually today I am preparing a talk on life after death which I will give tonight at my parent's dinner fireside...knee in a splint and all...Hope it goes well.

Really, I mean really???

So I just got home a little bit a go from taking my dog for a walk around the corner from my apartment. As I was out, minding my own business, a taxi stops next to me, window gets rolled down and the driver says something to me in Swedish. I didn't hear him properly so I say, "what did you say", he repeats it again, again i Say " what" (all in swedish - my poor attempt), and he repeats and I finally understand he is asking if the dog is mine, i say "yes" he says "very nice dog", i say "thanks", he says something else, once again I don't understand, I think he might be asking the dog's race so I say "shitzu", he says "no..." and repeats whatever he originally said, so finally, in swedish I say "I speak very little swedish, english please" so then he proceeds to say again(in english this time) " is the dog yours", "yes", "very nice dog", "thanks", " where are you from?" " united states" , then the kicker "can i walk him with you"...Ahhh..now we get to the real reason he stopped.." he laughs, says something like " you are nice too, can I walk the dog with you", and i chuckle and say "um, I don't think my husband would like that very much" (though he probably could care less since he seems unthreatened by other men...), then he laughs and is like" no, no, just walk" and I kind of just smile and keep walking and he drives off...This gentleman was a bit older (40's maybe) and foreign which explains the boldness...I don't consider myself the hottest thing out there or anything close, but i mean come on dude, really??? you ask a young woman if you can walk her dog with her??? that's a new one...I mean he went for it, good for him..can't hurt to try I guess.. I just wonder - what is it that makes people so confident to just approach a complete stranger and be so forward??? The sad thing is, if this guy had been attractive, I'd probably have been very flattered and bashful etc...I mean who knows...life is weird but this guy didn't stand a chance, married or not...sorry buddy!!!

Inspired

No not really...I just feel like its time to post something on here since it's been forever since my last post. Last time I wrote, I had returned from a wonderful trip to Italy with my beautiful sister. It's been 5 months since that trip but I still look upon it fondly. Since then, I've been to Switzerland three times for work. This last time, I was there for nearly 3 weeks. I got stuck as a result of the volcanic eruption but made it back after 6 nights stranded in Lausanne. Luckily, I was there for work and all expenses were covered. Also in that time, I found out my apartment was foreclosed on (sucks but at least that ordeal is over with..for now anyway), and I got some other difficult news...I'd say the last two years of my life have been quite challenging in some ways, but in others I remember how blessed I am. It's hard to feel bad for yourself when you know how good you have it all things considered. For example, at least I get to enjoy freedom of religion. I think about the 7 friends in Iran who have now entered their third year in prison without a trial and sentencing. I can't even begin to imagine what it's been like for them!!! I hope they are released soon though I'm not holding my breath!

I feel like I am embarking on a new chapter in life now. I will be entering my 30's soon (in a little over a year), will hopefully be blessed enough to have children in the coming years and create my own little family unit. I cherish family above all else and want nothing more than to enjoy that feeling of being a family unit again. I miss my parents and sister so much and the feeling of the "four of us" but hope to have that one day again, though different obviously..

I have plans to head home this summer which will be so nice. Haven't been home in a year and didn't really get much time when I was there last summer. I am looking forward to sunshine, rest, and relaxation. Haven't actually booked my trip yet, but hope to do that soon. My father recently retired (though he still works - just free-lance now) but it will be so nice to have more time with him. I really miss my parents and look forward to spending some quality time with them...Well that about sums up what i've been feeling the past few months..

Catch up

It's been roughly over a month since I wrote anything on here. I spent most of that time traveling to different countries. I was in Italy with my sister and then Switzerland for work. Italy was awesome. The country itself was beautiful and I saw lots of cool stuff (in Venice, Verona, and Rome), but more so, the memories I have from the people I spent time with will stay with me forever. For starters, this was the first trip my sister and I have taken together, just the two of us (though there were others around for much of it). I really cherish the time we spent together. It really allowed us to just enjoy each other and hang out and be friends. We explored Venice and Rome and had lots of laughs and even a few tears, but good to be able to be there for each other. I really love and admire my little sister and this just made me feel that all the more. In Verona, we attended a Bahá'í conference for young professionals called "Changing Times". I met some wonderful people at this conference and laughed so hard it hurt. Sometimes you meet people who just burrow their way into your heart, I experienced that at this conference. I met people who I know I will now care for as long as I live. I have memories to warm my heart and that is the best kind of memory to have!!!

After italy, I flew back to Sweden, was here for less than 12 hours, then flew to Switzerland and was there for work for 2 weeks. My new job has me going to Switzerland quite frequently. Though traveling can be exhausting, its kind of a blessing right now. Sweden isn't the best place to be in the winter since it tends to be dark and gray most of the time. Apparently, it was also FREEZING cold while I was gone. I was lucky enough to escape that while in Switzerland. I don't enjoy being away from home, away from my husband, but I do like the change in scenery and weather. I also really like the people I work with in Switzerland. It's a fun group of people and for the first time in several years, I am working with others which is really nice. I have been pretty isolated at work for a while, so its nice to be part of a team again. I head back in a little over a week and will be there for 2 weeks again...I'll be home just in time for Valentine's day, lucky me :o)

This past month has been a difficult one in terms of the world. The 7 Bahá'ís in Iran are on trial (the Yaran) and we all know its pretty much a sham of a trial, but still those poor people have been in prison now for almost 2 years without a "trial" and probably want to know their fate. At least the world has cried out against what is being done to them and it has created some awareness regarding the plight of Bahá'ís in Iran. Then last week we had the devastating earthquake in Haiti which has left thousands dead and many others homeless in a country which was already suffering a great deal. I feel really awkward writing about how great my life is and then acknowledging how so many others are suffering at the same time that I am smiling remembering a good memory. It feels wrong to be happy in the light of such tragedy and suffering going on, though I know it goes on all the time in many places around the world, but just doesn't get the media attention on it as something like a natural disaster does. The only thing I can think about is that those souls going through that are probably much stronger than I am and in the end their recompense in the spiritual world with be tenfold. I also think about what I should do to help contribute to this "ever advancing civilization" and make changes so that future generations don't experience this huge contrast of wealth and poverty, good life and suffering, that our current generation is experiencing. There will always be people who are less fortunate than others financially, but it won't be to these extremes and there will be an awareness in the world that I don't think exists yet. I hope I don't waste the opportunities that have been given to me and am able to do a little bit of good before I leave this "mortal world of dust". No one can phrase it better than God Himself(via His Manifestation of course): "O FRIENDS! Abandon not the everlasting beauty for a beauty that must die, and set not your affections on this mortal world of dust." (Bahá'u'lláh, The Persian Hidden Words)

travels

I have been traveling quite a bit lately, both personally and professionally, and there isn't an end in sight it seems. In a way, its pretty nice to go to different places and get away from the routine and monotony of my life, on the other, its quite exhausting. Maybe its a good thing to help keep things fresh, but I think the verdict is still out on that...Either way, I am going to Italy to attend a conference and spend time with my sister. I am very much looking forward to it. I have never been and am really looking forward to seeing the sights and soaking in some quality sister time!!!

Date Night

My husband came up to me earlier this week and suggested we implement a weekly date night. We can each come up with something fun we want to do and we will find one night a week to go on a date and do whatever we've come up with. Tonight is our first one and we are doing dinner and a movie. I am so happy we've decided to do this. I think its really important to keep that romantic spark alive. It's so easy to fall into the routine of life and marriage and sort of lose yourself in that and lose that spark that attracted you to each other in the first place. I don't know if we'll manage to keep it up, but I really hope we do. I think its a great idea. If anything, its nice to have a change of pace and get out of the house and be together for things other than errands. So, I am really looking forward to tonight.

On a different note, things are looking up at work, there is a role I am being considered for which means I will be losing my current job but most likely won't be out of a job altogether. We shall see how that turns out, but things are looking positive. Also, I am really looking forward to seeing my family next week to spend Thanksgiving with them. I think I'm going to have a blast. And later this year I'm going to Italy with my sister. So, while 2009 started out on a bit of a sour note and has been a tough year, it may just end on a great note...We shall wait and see!!!

Life in Limbo

So - I haven't posted anything here for a while because I was waiting for some resolutions in my life which I was hoping I could then blog about. However, as my life has been for the past 5 months, I'm still in limbo. The areas I was referring to were my condo situation in atlanta (been trying to fight off foreclosure since early june) and my job(company is restructuring, letting lots of people go, and my role is impacted, just didn't know how)...The condo thing has dragged on and on, but we have been approved for a short-sale by the bank. however, per the bank we have to close tomorrow. I am hoping we will, but I still need to negotiate with the 2nd mortgage people so they release the lien on the condo and I haven't heard anything from my realtor. This situation has been dragging on forever and its driving me nuts...With work, I am also just waiting...the good news is they seem happy with me and want to try to find something for me, the bad news is, there is no guarantee we will find something, but we'll see how it goes...It's this whole being in limbo that just stinks...To make matters worse, two of my cousins have had some major health scares lately (major heart surgery and prostate surgery due to cancer)...Oh yeah and my Uncle passed away 3 months ago...This year has not been very kind to me, but its ok, we all have one of those years I think. 2009 will probably go down in the books for me as one of crappiest years ever...as it will for many people I suspect, considering the economic downfall the world as a whole has experienced...All things considered, I have it pretty good.. Never the less, I just needed to vent a bit...its been frustrating to say the least...Hopefully, things will turn out positively...Only time will tell...Tic,Toc...

Been a while...

It's been about a month since I last wrote anything on here. I didn't feel like I had much to write about. Actually, there are several things going on in my life which I am waiting for resolutions on and was hoping to have those and be able to blog about it, but I'm still waiting...Hopefully, things will work out and it will be a happy blog post, when and if I ever find out...

I don't have a whole lot to share at the moment. I read another article today about how women are mistreated in Afghanistan and it really angered me. I don't understand how it is possible for people to suppress 50% of their population. I can't fathom how they think its ok to kill someone who has "displeased" her husband, and oh by the way, she is only 15 years old, and oh by the way, she was forced to marry an older man at age 11...For heaven's sake, there is something seriously wrong with that picture and in my eyes it has nothing to do with the girl displeasing her husband...Shoot, I'd have been killed about 500 hundred times by now if that were law here, and vice versa...It's so sickening...This world is seriously, SO messed up!!! I just can't process it...Every day you read the news and its one awful, disgusting story after another...What is wrong with people??? NO ENTIENDO!!! That is the bottom line, i just DON'T get it...And the funny thing is, you hear about all this junk and think yeah its screwed up world, at the same time, I know SO many wonderful people. In my own life alone, my parents, my sisters, some of my friends, ALL amazing human beings who help others, are kind, good, warm, caring, just, I mean I could go on and on...How is it possible for the good and bad to coexist? I don't get how hard it is for people to just be good...why is that so difficult? I am feeling very baffled right now about the injustices of this world and the apathy of those "unaffected" and the inequality that exists...It's pretty pathetic, its the year 2009, you would think the world would have progressed further by now...

Time to make a change

My sister sent me a link to an article yesterday about the suffering women around the world go through and programs in place that actually help empower them, as well as, the impact it has to the world in general when women aren't held back. In reading the article, which is quite long, but quite interesting, I got to thinking about my own life. I have always known it, but reading these types of articles, reinforce the fact that I have led an extremely privileged life. I have complaints, as most people do, and think I suffer, but the truth is, it could be SOOOOOOOOOO much worse....I feel guilty for ever thinking I have suffered. My life has been a fairytale compared to some of the women described in the article. It's a joke. They don't have lives. It's ridiculous!!! I was talking to P last night and saying how crazy it is that some people have probably laughed very rarely in their lives because there really is nothing to laugh about. I can't even begin to imagine.

Reading the article just reiterated the fact that this world is desperate for change. Not the kind of change we humans bring about, because clearly we haven't succeeded in the way we should, but rather something only a Divine Being could offer. If you read the teachings of Bahá'u'lláh and see what the Bahá'í Faith offers, it truly is the Divine Elixir. The solutions are there, in His teachings, but it is going to take quite an effort before the world puts it into practice, for real, not just as a temporary fix. We each need to do our part, and its not sufficient to just "be good". I need to drill this idea in my own head and do something to make a change in this world; otherwise, my life is a waste. I think it goes beyond just being the change we want to see in the world, i mean that is great and necessary, but it needs to be systematic and reaching beyond just those in our immediate surroundings. It's time for everyone to wake up and smell the coffee. People are suffering and its NOT OK to just acknowledge the fact, think what a shame, and move on with our lives as normal...We need to stand up and help right an extremely, grievous wrong!!! The wheels in my head are turning. I need to be different!!!

Diary Entry

I've been back just under a week and its taken some adjusting. I find that its harder and harder to leave my parents, maybe because I know our time together is limited, maybe recently its because of the passing of my Uncle, I don't really know what it is, but I feel a hole not having them around. I don't like it. I don't like being so far away. There are definite perks to living in sweden, like the time off, but I am finding it really hard to be so far away from my loved ones. I am not happy about it.

Last night, I dreamt about Uncle John for the first time since he passed. It was nice to see him. He looked good in my dream. It was a strange dream, but cool to have that connection in the world of dreams.

Today was my first day back at the office(worked from home last week) and I find that I enjoy it. I like working, weird as that may seem. I think maybe I feel useful, not sure what it is, regardless, it was nice to be back in the office. I have a feeling its going to be very busy here over the next few months, so that will prob make time fly, which will be good. I need some distractions. I've had too much stress in my life recently, things that I can't control, I am ready for stress I can control(work related) to occupy my mind vs the other stuff. Last night, I couldn't sleep because i couldn't shut my mind off. I wish I knew how to do that, but I don't seem capable.

I bought an itouch, its awesome! I am really happy with my purchase. I also bought some speakers to plug it into and they are great...Think its one of my best purchases yet. Thank goodness for modern technology!!! It never ceases to amaze me!!!

The inevitable

It's been a while again since I have posted anything. A lot has happened since my last post. I flew home to visit my parents about a week and a half ago. Two days after, my uncle, my dad's twin brother, passed away. I flew to Canada with my parents for his funeral and memorial service. My sister flew in from Haifa. Both events, funeral and service, were beautiful. I am glad the whole family was able to be together during such a difficult time. It was almost unimaginable, at first, and even sometimes still, to think that my Uncle is no longer on this earth (physically). Entering his home, and him not being there, for the first time, was quite emotional for me, as were the events held in his honor the rest of the week. It was nice to see how many lives he touched based on the outpouring of love and condolences we have experienced this past week. My heart is sad for those of us left behind, but happy for him. I ache for the pain my father will feel, no doubt, when he feels like picking up the phone to speak to his brother and can't. On the other hand, I rejoice in the fact that my uncle suffered quite minimally, all things considered, and didn't go through a long, arduous decline in health at the end. We all know he is in better place, so again, I don't mourn for him, but for us.

I returned from Canada yesterday and have a few more days to spend with my parents in PR. I am grateful to have that time. Things are still uncertain for me, upon my return to Europe, as far as work is concerned, but somehow, I think things will work out. I will be happy to see my hubby. I have missed him a great deal. I am also looking forward to seeing my little Bebo, the cutie misses me and I miss him.

After this past week, I realized how lucky I have been in my life so far and I am sincerely grateful for all of it. I have a wonderful family, some terrific friends, and the greatest gift of all, I am a member of the Bahá'í Faith. It was so visible to all of us that the reason my Uncle dealt with his cancer with such grace and anticipated his death, rather than feared it, was because of his Faith. One of the last things he uttered while on this earth was how lucky he was to have been a part of a such a wonderful global community(referring to the Bahá'í community) and that is was thanks to a decision his parents made about 100 years ago...I wholeheartedly agree, thank you Mommy and Daddy!

Last few weeks

It's been a few weeks since I posted anything here, so here goes. The past few weeks have been rather uneventful. Weather is finally nice here, but let's see how long it actually lasts, hopefully it will be all summer. I have seen some good movies, particulary, "The Proposal", its awesome! I really loved it. Very feelgood movie. Tonight, I am on my way to see "Transformers 2", looking forward to that.

I am headed home in a few weeks for some vacation and am quite looking forward to it. I think it will be great to get time to take a break and just relax. I have had some stressful things going on recently, and just want to take a breather.

Don't have a whole lot more to update on really. Hope everyone is doing ok.

Crisis of Faith?

I went to college with a young man whose mother was raped and brutally murdered a few years ago. The man who murdered her is on trial now facing the death penalty and her family members had to testify in court. Since this is a legal case, I am sure they have been exposed to the gory details of the crime (based on news reports alone she suffered a great deal, in court all of the details come to light which must be horrible to hear as a loved one). I was reading his blog today and am just amazed at how admirably he has dealt with the situation. He hasn't allowed hatred for the perpetrator of the crime to consume him, nor has he allowed such a horrific tragedy to bring about a crisis of faith for him.

I think it is very difficult to come to terms with the various tragedies we may/ do face in this world. How can we wrap our heads around really, really bad things happening to really, really good people? How is that fair? Why does a loving, just, and merciful God allow such a thing? I guess it comes down to God isn't really "allowing" it to happen, is he? We as human beings have one distinct thing that differentiates us from the animal kingdom, that is free will. With that comes a great responsibility to act in the way God has taught us, through his manifestations, will elevate our souls and bring prosperity to mankind as whole. Unfortunately, there individuals who choose not to do so. In so choosing, sometimes, tragedy befalls those of us who have chosen to try to "live the life" and develop the good in us rather than fall victim to the lower nature we are all possessed with.

I admire this young man, because, even though I know bad things happen and it shouldn't dictate our faith in God and shouldn't change our goal in life to be good, and kind, and loving, even to our enemies, I am not so sure I would handle things as gracefully as he has (outwardly anyway). I pray that I never have to learn how I would handle myself in such a situation. I also pray for fortitude and courage for those who do. I can't even begin to imagine what it must feel like to face the perpetrator of such a horrendous crime or live with the knowledge of so dreadful an act committed against the person you love most in the world.

Life Update

It's been about a month since I last wrote anything here, so I guess its time I update everyone on my life the past month. Things have been going pretty well. Nothing spectacular has happened to me, but life is good nonetheless. P and I returned almost a week ago now from a wonderful week in Florida where we went on vacation, just the two of us, for the first time in a long time. We really had a fabulous time. The weather was delightful, truly perfect, in the mid 80's, sunny everyday, not too hot, but just right. We stayed at a very nice hotel and had an awesome 1 bedroom villa, went to the pool, jacuzzi, amusement parks, shopping, and ate out at some restaurants we don't have here. It was just what I needed. Upon our return, the weather was quite nice here. Spring has definitely arrived. I love seeing green everywhere. Things haven't fully bloomed yet, but they are getting there. My mood has been so much better recently and its probably due to a combination of factors, but truth be told, I honestly believe that 95% of the reason is the change in weather. I always knew I am affected by the weather, but never to such a great extent. It's amazing how that one thing can have such a tremendous impact on one's sense of well being.

I am looking forward to this summer and either having my parents come for a visit or my visiting them. Also, the Baha'i summer school is going to be really awesome this year, even better than last year, so I am excited about that. Work is getting busier which is a good thing. I hope it doesn't become too busy, but we'll see how it goes. Sorry for the long absence, I will try and write more frequently. Hope all of you who read this are doing well too!!! To my dear friend Tali, best of luck with your final exam tomorrow, its almost over!!!! So proud of you!!!

Family Ties

I am sitting here, on my couch, on an early Sunday afternoon watching the show "Family Ties" from the 80's starring Michael J. Fox. As I sit here, I am thinking about family and how great a gift from God Family can be. Can you imagine if we all were just individuals in this world with no actual ties to anyone? I mean maybe we'd have friends - and though a really good friend can be like family- in my personal opinion, there is nothing like family. It is the most basic part of human life, but also the best. I mean, ultimately, isn't it what most of us strive for? Most people long for, or strive for, meeting someone, falling inlove, sharing their life with that person and starting a family..and the cycle continues...

I got married 5 years ago(in June), so step one and two have happened, I fell inlove and got married-chose to share my life with someone. Now I am reaching that next level in life - starting a family of my own. For some it may not be as important as for others. For me, I think it will be everything. You see I live so far away from my loved ones, my parents, sister, cousins, aunts, uncles. etc...This fact is something that is extremely hard on me at times. However, I believe that when I have a child of my own and a little family unit of my own, though i will still miss my loved ones, I will have a different focus. I think it won't hurt as much to be far away - does this make sense? Besides giving me a different focus, it also just feels like the natural next step. Please don't jump to any conclusions - I am not actually trying for a baby yet - but I am thinking about it..I look forward to the day I have a little person I can call my own. Someone to help raise and nurture, who will look at me with big loving eyes and whose whole world I will be, even if only for a small moment in time. That will be a wonderful day indeed!!!

Near Misses...

My little sister has had quite a few "near misses" lately in terms of potentially fatal accidents. She blogged about the latest one yesterday see ("too close" at http://nasaka.blogspot.com/). It was a bit scary to read for me as her sister - but she's right one never knows...It got me thinking, how many "near misses" have all of us had? How many of those were a consequence of sheer coincidence like if you had stepped out 5 seconds later you would have been hurt, etc vs, how many were truly God's protection? Does it even work that way? Does God ever intervene? I believe He does. I just don't know how many things are luck vs intervention, or if there is such thing as luck and circumstance... I bet we would all freak out a little bit if we knew just how many times we did actually come close to death without even knowing it... I think this life is a much bigger mystery than any of us will ever truly understand.

Happy Naw Rúz!!!

Today marks the last day of the Bahá'í Fast which Bahá'ís from around the world have been observing for the past 19 days. The end of the fast marks the beginning of a new year, Náw Ruz. It is time for celebration and hopefully the start of many good things to come in the year ahead. Personally, this year's fast felt more difficult than year's past - not sure why - but it just was. However, I very much enjoyed the time I had pre-dawn with my husband where we sat and had breakfast together and then shared prayers and bahai writings. It was a very special feeling. I am hopeful of what the year to come holds for us. For starters, we are taking a short vacation together - next month which I know we will both love. It will almost be like a honeymoon. It is our 5 year wedding anniversary in a few months - so the timing works well indeed.

I am looking forward to the spring and summer - visiting family, and taking on new endeavours at work and in life. I just wanted to take this time to wish everyone a very Happy Naw Rúz!!!! Happy New Year!!!

Career Choices

I have some changes that will be taking place with my role at work soon and I am sort of allowed to choose some of them, but sort of not. I don't really know what to do. On the one hand, I am totally ready for a change and more responsibility, on the other, I do NOT want to be working ALL the time again...I just don't see the point. Life is too short to waste behind a computer crunching numbers when the benefit of such work doesn't do much to help my fellow man...at least much that I can see...I am all for doing a good job, but I am scared that expectations are quite high too. Oh well, I have always managed in the past, so I am sure once I get over my initial fear, things will work out. I definitely want to do a good job...We'll see what happens, nothing has been hashed out yet.

I am also feeling a bit scared with the economy and the lack of stability that exists right now. It feels as though, at any second, any one of our lives could come crumbling down, as we know it that is. It's a very strange feeling, not knowing what the future holds. Growing up the way I did, you always think if you are well educated, work hard, you will be ok - but the fact of the matter is, there is a good deal of luck involved too. There are plenty of people right now who have a great education, are very qualified, but were laid off and are now fighting with thousands of other people for few jobs...I guess we just need to take life one day at a time and learn to roll with the punches, so to speak. I think part of my concern stems from my whole atlanta apartment situation and not knowing the full financial repercussions that may have, if any...But hopefully that situation will be resolved in the next few months...we will have to wait and see... I really would give anything to not have so many responsibilities on my shoulders right now and just be 18 again depending on my parents..hehe..life was good then!!! Or I wouldn't mind winning the lottery, that might be good too!! Haha, I really can't complain, God has been very good to me...I am one of the lucky ones.

Pathetic

This is the most ridiculous,pathetic, stupid, frustrating thing I have seen in a while: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20090227/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_ryanair_toilet

I mean why on EARTH would anyone consider such a thing!!! It's strong-arming people!! Highway Robbery!!! What is a person supposed to do? If they have to go, they have to!!! How can you charge them, and so much!!! 1pound isn't cheap!!! So ridiculous!!! I would seriously prefer if you charged me an extra 5 pounds in my ticket price, than make me pay each time I use the restroom which on a ryan airflight would be once if at all since they tend to be short... I really hate the airline company policies that exist today!!! They charge you for everything. In the past it would be a really exaggerating joke to say "next thing you know they will be charging you to use the restroom" but now it might actually be a reality!!! Truly pathetic!!! I am really irritated by this!!!

Random nothings...

It's mid February, the sun is shining outside, and things are looking up. I have a feeling 2009 is going to be a good year. Can't really pinpoint why exactly I feel that way, but I just do. I am sure the sunshine is greatly influencing my positive outlook today. It's amazing how dependent I really am on the sun..anyway, seeing sun makes me think about the fact that spring is only 2 months away(hopefully) and that I can start going for walks outdoors...and continue on this effort to get into shape...I have been going to the gym, but i don't enjoy that. I will really be happy when I can take nice long walks while its bright out. Speaking of, every day the sun goes down a little later here. It now sets around 5pm, which may not seem great to some, but it sure beats 3 pm... by end of March it will be setting close to 6pm and then once spring/summer are here it will be bright all day and night... can't wait!!!

I gave my Bebo (my dog) a hair cut, FINALLY!!! It took 2 hours and my hands are still cramped, but I got rid of all of the hair which had gotten clumped together and was just bad...he looks so skinny though..his hair literally weighed 3kilos..he is now only 7 kilos vs his normal 10...Anyway, I like that he is so light...I think he likes the shorter hair too. He seems happier...Must be something in the air...

My parents totally rock, they know why. My dad is off to see my Uncle today for a nice two week visit and I am hoping that it goes off without a hitch. I am sure they will both love it...I am not sure when I will make it home next, but hopefully it won't be in a million years...P is pretty good about trying to make me take trips to PR so we'll see...

I dont really have too many other things to talk about..life is good...i am OBSESSED with the twilight saga..new moon, the movie, can't come out soon enough..and it hasnt even filmed yet...Anyway, i am in a good mood, just felt like sharing...